Uncertainties
I have been lying in bed now for the best part of three days, tired from the anti-histamines that I have been taking for this bite and swooning from all the horse fly poison that is coursing through my body. I have been in such a grumpy mood that I have been unable to go anywhere near the kids without shouting at them. When dOH came in just now I asked him to please just take the children away so I could not do them any more harm. My weeks of effort with them are being smashed to bits in the same number of days. I just want to sleep under a very large duvet away from any other form of life.
And yes, I have been thinking, what exactly am I going to do with my children come September, when the period of de-schooling may be coming to an end and they show an interest in doing things? They will have no other home schoolers to mix with and no clubs to go to to meet friends and do activities with during school time. I know of no other homeschoolers that are nearer than an hour and a half distance from us, but I don’t want to start spending lots of time in the car. We moved to the countryside to get away from commuting.
Why on earth are we even contemplating homeschooling here in the back of beyond, miles away from any good resources, stuck in a country where I can’t even speak the language well enough to have a decent conversation with anyone.
We haven’t even got lots of money to buy equipment to do specialised things with. We chose a while back to live a simple life away from the trappings of commercialism, therefore we do have the time, but not the money to give to our kids. I had a feeling that our lifestyle was perfect for home schooling, but why do I feel this pressure to buy things for my children all of a sudden? Perhaps consumerism eases the pain of uncertainty.
Oh, and we do not have museums or art galleries or zoos or culture of any kind on our doorstep. Unless you think cows are where it’s at. I guess some people do.
I wonder whether all this matters though? I don’t know. But there are only so many plants, animals, trees and rocks that we can study, only so far we can string this ‘country stuff’ out, only so much skiing and bike riding we can do. DOH suggested that we ski most days during the winter, after all it’s all here on our doorstep. I don’t know if I can handle a 5 and 2 y.o. on the slopes by myself all day, every day though. Winter is for curling up by the fire and sleeping.
I looked at some homeschooling groups back in the UK today on the internet and it seems like things are a hive of activity in our home town, with groups meeting two times a week and loads of swaps and services being offered. I suddenly felt this huge urge to move back there, just to be able to tap into the support network and find some friends for my girls. It would be great for girls to have their grannies to look after them once in a while too. Great for me. Then I thought NO, the whole reason we are here is for the mountains and nature and the country life. Returning home often comes to me in times of weakness.
Hi,
I just found your blog a few days ago and am enjoying it very much.
In the spirit of giving something back, I offer this: Vitamin C is a natural antihistamine and can help a fair bit with bug bites. So can drinking a bit of raw apple cider vinegar in a cup of water every few hours, and dabbing a bit of undiluted vinegar on the bite every couple of hours can bring quite a bit of relief. Milk thistle seeds and dandelion root or greens can help support your body as well.
If you have yarrow growing where you are, a few well crushed leaves rubbed on a fresh bite can make a huge difference.
If the swelling gets worse, you spike a fever, and/or you develop any red streaks, make sure to get evaluated for a secondary infection. In the meanwhile, turmeric is a good preventative for infection — I mix it in boiling water with ginger and cinnamon and sweetener and drink it as tea a few times a day when I suspect one.
Boy, do I hear you on wanting extra support when one doesn’t feel well.
All the best to you, and thank you for such an enjoyable blog.
Carys
Carys
July 20, 2008 at 5:21 pm
Sorry about your bug bite. I hope you are feeling 100% soon. As for your anxiety about homeschooling please know this is very normal
. I felt like this too when we first started. Do you have a Library near by? Maybe you could call them, E-mail, or go there and ask if they know of any local homeschool groups? I also wanted to mention my boy’s probably have more public schooled friends than homeschool friends (yes they do have some homeschooled friends just not many). Is there anyway you can make a play-date or something with the kids she made friends with at school? As for not having a lot to do you really will be amazed on what you can find to do even when you think there isn’t much. If you do a Google search you may find some virtual field trips to things like museums and such. Take a deep breath and I promise you will get through this and things will be good. That first year is the biggest obstacle to go through but from what I have read of your blog I think you will (and your children) do wonderfully!!
Jody
July 20, 2008 at 8:53 pm
Boy! I know that feeling of unease. Having homeschooled for 8+ years, I’m transitioning to a far more unstructured approach and I find myself wanting to revert back to what is familiar. However, I know that unfamiliarity often brings unease and fear until I’m more confident. I highly suggest you check out these two blogs-they’ve been my courage during this trasition.
nurturedbylove.blogspot.com
teachthechildren.blogspot.com
Once you feel better, you will remember what led you to this choice. Keep blogging away. It will help you remember and besides, I really enjoy your posts
Chari
Chari
July 21, 2008 at 6:52 am
thanks for your encouragement, Chari, Jody and Carys, it is wonderful to know that there are people who actually read these rants and care enough to offer a word of support!
I love the way you say ‘dab’ the vinegar on the bite Carys – if you could see it, you’d probably think I need to sloosh it with a whole bucket of the stuff!! Anyway, will try out some suggestions, and I think that I have got an infection, but things are so much better today, may go to the doctors for homeopathic pills.
Jody – yes, I know there is probably a lot to get my teeth into if I really dig below the surface, our local library is tiny and all books are in French, but I have thought before of getting all the English that live here to donate books and setting up an English section, that may be a start!
Chari, I will go now and check out those two sites, I need some moral suport at the moment!!! thanks so much.
Which home schooling forum do people subscribe to? Is it worth looking into?
Lune x
Lune
July 21, 2008 at 9:57 am
Hi Lune,
*g* I mean “dab” rather than “rub” really — rubbing can activate more histamines and cause more irritation, so just putting some on gently without rubbing is the key part.
I’m glad it’s better today.
Carys
Carys
July 21, 2008 at 9:12 pm