Do I really want to homeschool?
The deadline is getting nearer. Next Monday I must register Squeak into the Maternelle Section at the local village school where Bubble is currently in her last year of pre-school – if I want her to attend. And that ‘if’ has been playing heavy on my heart for many months now. I want to homeschool. But the actual deed of putting it down on paper daunts me. Making that final decision brings out all those nagging doubts – what if I can’t cope? What if the children hate me for it? Can’t I wait until the end of the summer, when I have had 8 weeks of non-stop parenting and see how I feel then? Obviously not. Squeak must be registered on Monday, if that’s what I want.
I discussed it with dOH again yesterday. He thinks that from the view point of two things: education and children bonding with mummy, homeschooling wins hands down. But he worries that I may not cope with two children in a small french village all day (and night). He worries that their french will suffer for being at home. And my sanity.
So I wrote down a list of pros to try and get things a little clearer:
Hey, we can travel whenever we want!
No getting up at 6.45a.m. and no cajoling the kids out of the house,
no treacherous early winter runs in two feet of snow,
no homework,
no teachers giving smacks,
no kids hitting in the playground,
no 2mm high handwriting,
no longer need to make four trips to school everyday,
passionate children,
no boring teachers,
more art and design,
more fun,
mummy will be learning and having fun too,
mummy won’t have to make endless cakes for the school’s charity events.
Then came the cons:
kids’ french will suffer,
mummy will have little free time,
children will grow dependent on mummy,
mummy will have them under my feet when she shops,
the expense of equipment and travel,
one potential income lost,
isolation,
mummy will have kids at home with her most of the time.
Mmmmm…..seems like mummy got a mention quite a lot in the list of cons. But actually, the whole idea of writing this list was so that I could rip it up and throw it away.
The thing is that, I can make all the lists in the world and look at this analytically until the cows come home, but when I am out there, sitting in the middle of a butterfly laden meadow, spending the afternoon sitting and talking and laughing with my children, I just feel as if this is the most natural and satisfying thing I ever want to do in my life. But it is hard to keep this thought foremost in my mind when I am being told, “What about time for yourself?”
Yesterday, I had kind of made up my mind to take the girls out of school in July, but then we sat down to watch Dora the Explorer in French and Bubble started up, joining in with the words and actions with her perfectly colloquial accent. Later downstairs, dOH said to me, “She wouldn’t be able to speak like that if she wasn’t in school”. I know, I know, but if we lived in England, we wouldn’t be giving a second thought as to whether she could speak french or not. Sometimes, although I love it here, I think, “Damn this country”. By the end of the night, I had decided to leave them in school for another year and enjoy the last vestiges of my ‘free time’ alone.
But then I said to dOH, “Why don’t we ask the one person who will be effected most by all this – Bubble?” he thought that was the last thing we should so, as she could not make an informed decision herself. But since when has anyone - child or adult – studied all the facts and then still made an informed decision for themselves? Things like this usually come from the heart and Bubble certainly has one of those.
So, last night whilst getting Bubble & Squeak to bed, very subtly, I mentioned that tomorrow was a holiday, but on Friday there was school again. I was met with the most explosive reaction yet (and there have been some bad reactions in the past). “Oh, mummy, PLEASE don’t make me go to school! I can’t cope with it. I never want to go again!!” I am not sure whether she has been picking up on me and dOH’s conversations lately, but she really hit the mark. “I just can’t go up to the next class, I like the teacher, but do you know? They have to write all day, I can’t cope with that. Don’t make me go, I never want to see that place again!” We discussed her friends there and she said that they could come here to play. We discussed the nice teachers (which actually is a debate) and she said, “But you can teach me mummy and we could learn amazing things here.”
My girl, she certainly knows what she wants.
My decision about next year still remains undecided.
I live in the states so I don’t know if I can help you much. But I wanted to let you know it can be done. There is even programs out there for teaching French if that is what you need. As for mommy time. My boy’s are now eight and six and to be honest they do a lot of playing together or playing something themselves without me around so much. I also have a very understanding husband and he is fine with me taking some time to myself while he is home with the boy’s.
I am not telling you to homeschool because in the end you will do what is right for your family no matter what that is. I just wanted to give you some encouragement.
Oh and I just thought of something for the French also if there are any homeschool groups where you live some will even teach subjects as a trade off with other moms. Homeschooling isn’t just about learning from the parent but learning from life
. Good luck with whatever you decide!
Jody
May 15, 2008 at 2:21 pm
I wondered how I would cope too, when I first was faced with the deadline – school or homeschool?
One thing I think I can offer you, is that as your children get older, some of those cons would dissolve themselves. Two kids home all day? When they are past the toddler stage, this becomes more and more of a joy, and less of a drain. Not that toddlers aren’t great – but they are very demanding.
I have four at home, and when I hear people rant about “me” time, I wonder …..do I need me time? What have mothers through the centuries done for “me” time? Personally, I find expectation is a big part of coping with having your children at home. I don’t expect a lot of time to myself, I know that will come later. For now, my life is busy, but with the joyful kind of activity of loving and learning with my children.
You sound like you really want to do it…….
I hope you find your way. : )
beyondbluestockings
May 15, 2008 at 2:53 pm
[...] in a Foreign Country May 15, 2008 — Tammy Takahashi An “english mummy in the French Alps” wonders if she should homeschool her [...]
Homeschooling in a Foreign Country « Just Enough, and Nothing More
May 15, 2008 at 6:52 pm
My reply was rather long, so I put it at my blog. I hope it helps.
Valerie
May 16, 2008 at 8:11 pm
Drat. Forgot the URL.
http://happy_as_kings.typepad.com/happy_as_kings/2008/05/homeschooling-i.html
(I’m a teensy bit frazzled as I’m babysitting the granddog, plus one of our cats is under the weather)
Valerie
May 16, 2008 at 8:12 pm
Can’t speak about the speaking French thing-we don’t have to deal with that issue. But I have to say, I have plenty of me time even homeschooling my kids–why? Because they have learned to entertain themselves quite well and are great friends. They also have quiet time in their rooms every afternoon to play, do art or read. Because I have spent a lot of morning time with them doing crafts, science and other schoolish things, they are happy with that and aren’t whiny or clingy afterwards. The me thing has not been as issue, although sometimes I wish I could go to the grocery store by myself!
My only other comment, is that you might have to work harder at finding playmates for your kids and social outlets for yourself as well. Here, we have a great homeschool group that fits the bill nicely as well as a moms group that I am part of that provides other kids to play with, but I don’t know if you would necessarily have all that in France. Good luck!——-
carr
May 18, 2008 at 11:36 pm
We have been homeschooling in foreign countries for a while now. Our children speak excellent German after four years living there. They learnt it from their friends and from other people in their environment (at the football club, etc.)
My older ones also picked up quite a bit of Italian in the year we lived there.
scatty
May 21, 2008 at 3:46 pm
I have been linked to Just Enough, a wonderful home and de schooling blog, and here is my answer to the comments over there at:
http://justenough.wordpress.com/2008/05/15/homeschooling-in-a-foreign-country/:
thanks for the post and the comments!! (I have some more over at my blog). Well, this is such an emotive question and a problem that has been going round and round our heads for the last few weeks.
There will always be pros and cons to schooling/homeschooling, whichever one you choose to do. We have thought of the idea of employing a french au pair during the Winter season when we will be really busy with work, but of course, not everyone can afford, or wants to do this.
I swing from the view that if we were in the UK we wouldn’t think twice about our girls speaking french, so it doesn’t matter and the view that it is hugely important for them to speak/read/write french well. We are planning on travelling for many of the summer months each year, so I do not know if we will eventually ‘end up’ living in France, I think keeping up a moderate level of French whilst homeschooling is the answer for us.
The annual assessment by the French authorities will make sure we are on target with a good level of written and spoken french every year, which we will achieve through an au pair or twice-weekly french tutor (one of our french friends).
Culturally, I am not too worried about my children missing out, I know of many families here who struggle to keep up with the culture of their OWN country at home because their kids are at french school and read and write solely in french.
I believe, in this respect, our girls will be getting the best of France whilst keeping up a very healthy relationship with their country of birth – England.
Lune
May 25, 2008 at 10:28 am